Misheberach

Misheberach is a Jewish prayer for healing. [Here's an audio clip of my favorite version by Debbie Friedman.] In my religious tradition, we believe not only should people, who are ill, pray for themselves, but also that the community should pray for them, too. Prayer is a great opportunity to connect with spiritual energy, and I have a few people who could use a cosmic boost right about now. I would appreciate you sending a few healing thoughts into the universe for these people.

One of the August Moms, Annapolis Mom, just reported abnormal findings on her mammogram, and her radiologist wasn't optimistic. She had a needle biopsy yesterday and is anxiously awaiting the results. We are all so worried for her, her husband and their young children. When you have a free moment today, would you please add the Annapolis Mom to your prayers?

I should add that there are two August Moms in the Annapolis area. The other mom is the World Traveler; her husband recently suffered an exacerbation of a chronic illness. Her family would appreciate your prayers, too.

The Family Blender's famlies are going through some serious emotional crises right now and could use a spiritual boost.

Finally -- and sounding like a broken record -- my father is in the hospital again with complications from the reversal of his colostomy. The connection site developed a hole, a fistula, that was not healing. Dad's doctors ordered IV feedings and medications through a PICC line. As of last weekend, he was doing better, and the hole was healing. The challenge will be for the connection site to hold tight when he starts eating solid food. Otherwise, he's headed for another surgery, one to revise the connection. Oh, and he has a huge abdominal hernia that probably won't be addressed because of the surgical damage to the abdominal wall. Please send one up for my parents, too.

I'm going to New Orleans and drown myself in a vat of boiled crawfish for a few days. I'll be back after JazzFest.

My Mac is Back

I took my 20" iMac into our new Apple store yesterday. They replaced the logic board and power supply and ran a bunch of diagnostics. Everything is running perfectly well, now.

Big kudos to the Apple Store at the Waterside Shops. They repaired my computer in 1 day. Their geniuses are great, and their creative team is very nice. I keep thinking, "Wouldn't it be fun to work there?" Somebody slap me.

Time to clean my desk and pack for New Orleans. We leave for JazzFest tomorrow, and there's still laundry to finish. I have to pack myself, Wizard, Wild Thing, Moose, and the sleeping bags. They are responsible for packing their own backpacks. WineGuy will probably pack himself at the last minute.

Unless I find access to a computer while we're away, I will not post here for about another 6-7 days. No, I don't own a laptop, but WineGuy does. Not sure if he'll take it with him, though.

Catch A Quick Breath

The last series of concerts went very well. I was so proud to sing a choral piece in Hebrew for the first time in my life. Several friends in the community said they saw the concert and loved it.

This week I must re-audition for my chorale. It shouldn't be a big deal, although I'm a bit concerned about the sight-singing. The conductor told us we would have to sing a bit from the big MGM Musicals pops concert repetoire the group performed in March. I learned the entire score, although not as thoroughly as I would have liked. (Remember that I could not sing those concerts because I was still sick.) I'm hoping as long as I can read the score and remember my part that I'll be OK. The other sight-reading will come from Bernstein's Chichester Psalms which we just performed. Thankfully, there is no written test this year.

I am meeting with my book club co-director to discuss books for next month's meeting. We are thinking about The Secret of Lost Things, by Sheridan Hay; Acceptance, by Susan Coll; Eat, Pray, Love, by Elizabeth Gilbert; and Suite Française, by Irene Nemirovsky. I picked up Lost Things at the bookstore last week and read a few pages. Looks like it will be a captivating story. Several friends read Gilbert's book and loved it, although our group just read a non-fiction book 2 months ago. I'm anxious to read Nemirovsky's book, too. We read The Space Between Us (by Thrity Umrigar) last month, but no one could make the meeting to discuss the book. Needless to say, we're going to add a few new members to the group to enliven the discussion.

WineGuy's car goes into the shop tomorrow. That should read: I am taking his car in to be serviced; I am picking up the loaner; and, then I am driving the boys to school. WineGuy just needs to remember to take my car in the morning. I'm also supposed to take my iMac to the new Apple Store for a check-up. It's been having kernel panic attacks and crashing, which is very un-Maclike. I ran a couple of diagnostics today and backed up my entire system. I haven't had any more crashes or panics today, so I might just postpone my appointment until 2 weeks from now.

Why two weeks? Because we are leaving for a five-day trip to New Orleans on April 25th. It's our family's annual pilgrimage to the New Orleans Jazz and Heritage Festival. JazzFest is the ultimate musical excursion! Every year, during the last weekend of April and the first weekend of May, stars of the musical world descend on The Big Easy to ply their trade. There is non-stop music from 11:00 a.m. until 7:00 p.m. daily at the Fairgrounds Racetrack in Mid-City. There is traditional Dixieland Jazz, modern jazz, gospel, zydeco, rock & roll, rap, you name it. We are particularly psyched to hear Bonnie Raitt this year. Last year, in the aftermath of Katrina, JazzFest rose again like the proverbial phoenix. Jimmy Buffett buoyed the crowd and gave everyone hope for the entire Gulf Coast. Oh, and we will eat crawfish, oysters, softshell crabs, sweet tea, snowballs, and everything else under the sun.

After we get back from New Orleans, I have exactly 3 days to wash clothes and get everyone packed for a weekend trip to St. Louis. WineGuy's niece will be Bat Mitzvahed the first weekend of May. The following weekend WineGuy's step-niece will be Bat Mitzvahed in Fort Lauderdale; that's a quick evening trip. The following week I go to Orlando to audition for Jeopardy, and then WineGuy is supposed to attend a convention in DC in late May.

In the midst of all that chaos, I need to plan Wild Thing's 8th birthday party. It will probably be a movie party with his best friend, like we did last year. WT and friend would like to see "Shrek The Third". And, that's not all: we have a Bar Mitzvah to attend locally over Memorial Day Weekend. My niece will be Bat Mitzvahed in DC in June.

A quick breath is about all I have time for. So, what's new with you?

Campus (In)Security

Sacred halls became scared halls. Hallowed walls became hollow walls.

The massacre at Virginia Tech highlights the problem of how schools keep students safe on campuses across the nation. Virginia Tech appeared to do everything right: they have a campus police force, they have crisis intervention programs, their professors and students file complaints about other students as necessary. Campus police records showed there were two complaints filed against the Seung Cho in late 2005. The police first characterized Cho's behavior as "annoying" but not harassing. Cho then sent apparently harassing instant messages to a second student, who subsequently filed a complaint. That complaint led to Cho being involuntarily committed to a mental hospital under a suicide watch. Still, this kid didn't come up on the university's radar. Cho's erratic behavior and violence-themed schoolwork alarmed two professors enough to report him to school administration. University counseling knew about this disturbed student, but neither they nor campus police did anything to remove him from campus, stating that they were helpless until Cho actually threatened or hurt someone. Cho also sent alarming photographs, video and writings to NBC News, but no one was able to stop him. Unbelievable.

Here was a kid who exhibited every single classic warning sign of potential violent behavior, whose actions were documented in some fashion by university administration, by campus police and by the local mental health community, and no one stopped him. This was not like Columbine, where the students' violent proclivities were virtually unknown. Cho bought not one but two handguns in the month prior to the shootings, yet this did not raise any kind of red flag with state or federal enforcement agencies. His firearms applications had to show that he lived on-campus at a state university. Law enforcement should have notified the university that a student had recently purchased firearms.

Virginia Tech was feckless in its management of the student, his problems, and the imminent crisis. The school's ombudsman should have seen the complaints from the professors and students, the reports from university counseling, and the notice of involuntary commitment from the mental hospital; then, Virginia Tech should have removed Cho from campus. The university should have notified Cho's parents that their son was a danger to himself and to his community, and the parents should have had the son committed. The parents and their community should have pressured Cho to voluntarily commit himself and get the help he desperately needed.

By the way, where were his parents in all of this? Why didn't they pull their kid out of school or pressure him into a treatment program? The parents must have known their son was having problems at school; the university should have notified them early on. If one of your children was causing a problem at school, wouldn't you want to know about it? Wouldn't you do something about it? I certainly would.

Mark my words: the victims' families will file a flurry of lawsuits against the university for negligent supervision, failure to provide adequate security, and wrongful death. The university is liable. This is going to cost Virginia Tech millions, not to mention the damage to its reputation.

Finally, back to the issue I first raised. How do we keep kids safe at school? Should schools build walls around their campuses and security-screen everyone who passes through the gate? That might work on urban and suburban campuses, but it seems out-of-place on rural campuses. The answer is far more subtle: schools -- primary, secondary and university -- should have people watching all the time, using security cameras, using clothed security officers, using civilian task forces. Schools should have ombudsmen who collect campus and community reports about problem students, and the ombudsmen should dismiss them from campus. Law enforcement agencies should report to universities firearms purchases by their students -- why does a college student need a handgun? two handguns? I despise most civilian and recreational use of weapons, so gun control laws should be more restrictive. Psychiatric commitments should last longer than 72 hours, and patients should be released into treatment facilities instead of back into the community. Parents need to know what's going on in their children's lives; they need to stay in touch regularly with their college students and be advised when there is a problem.

Because if it were my kid, I would want to know. And, I would want to help him before he hurt himself or someone else.

Be Back Soon

I have some new readers whom I met at a writer's conference at our local public radio station last week. In the midst of another parental health crisis, another slate of chorale concerts, and the looming tax deadline, I have had no time (and little motivation) to post. I apologize. Let me get my taxes signed and mailed, and I'll post an update.

Rambling Mom, I don't know how you do taxes for a living. You deserve a medal for your heroic efforts at this time of year ... and for everything else you handle. [grin] I agree with Robert Cray, "I hate taxes."

Update: I was up until 2:30A this morning reviewing our return. After having copying everything, I had coffee with Calvin. She reminded me to redo part of the return and take another, thankfully large, deduction for something. I redid everything, transferred money from one bank to another to cover the taxes, went to the post office for a stamp for my envelope -- love those automated postal machines, went to WineGuy's office to have him sign (again), made copies of everything (again), drove through the main post office and dropped my large envelope (and large check) in the mailbox. It should have been picked up first thing this afternoon. Afterwards, I engaged in a little retail therapy at the makeup counter (mascara and a lip pencil, which shows great restraint) and at the bookstore.

Back in the swing of things on the morrow.

Monday's Meme 4/9/07

Since most of the August96 Moms have used this recently, I figured I'd swipe it, too. Here's a glimpse into my mundane life.

1. Explain what ended your last relationship.

It hasn't ended. WineGuy and I have been married for nearly 15 years.

2.When was the last time you shaved?

Last Wednesday evening.

3. What were you doing this morning at 8 am?

Dozing and watching the morning news.

4. What were you doing 15 minutes ago?

Checking email instead of doing laundry.

5. Are you any good at math?

Yes.

6. Your prom night, what do you remember about it?

I remember everything! I was the Prom Chairman. My date was Sean B. My dress was yellow chiffon with purple and pink painted flowers; it came from Garfinkels. We had dinner at L'Escargot, and the dance was at the Shoreham. The theme was "Always and Forever", and the favors were miniature brandy snifters.

7. Do you have any famous ancestors?

No, but WineGuy does.

8. Have you had to take a loan out for school?

Yes, I took student loans out for college and eventually paid them back. I took a loan out for a law school summer course and took my sweet time paying it back.

9. Last thing received in the mail?

A copy of the Chorale's recent announcements.

10. How many different beverages have you had today?

None, I haven't eaten yet.

11. Who did you lose your CONCERT virginity to?

Chuck Mangione.

12. Do you draw your name in the sand when you go to the beach?

No.

13. What’s the most painful dental procedure you’ve had done?

Root scaling and planing , done several times by the periodontist.

14. What is out your back door?

Depends on which door ... most likely the garbage cans.

15. What did you do last night?

Watched "The Amazing Race" and worked the Sunday NYT crossword puzzle with WineGuy.

16. Do you like what the ocean does to your hair?

I don't really care.

17. Have you ever received one of those big tins with 3 different kinds of popcorn?

Yes, I love popcorn, esp. cheese popcorn.

18. Have you ever been to a planetarium?

Yes, in Boston and in Philadelphia last summer.

19. Do you re-use towels after you shower?

Yes.

20. Something you are excited about?

My Jeopardy audition in May 2007.

21. What is your favorite flavor of jell-o?

I truly despise Jell-o, except for when I'm a patient in the hospital. Then, and only then, I will eat green (lime) Jell-o.

22. Describe your key chain..

It is a leather strap with a brass ring and a brass clip, made by Coach.

23. Where do you keep your change?

In the zippered change purse in my wallet.

24. When was the last time you spoke in front of a large group of people?

Either at WineGuy's surprise party last month or in front of the Chorale sometime last month, too.

25. What kind of winter coat do you own?

Winter coat? What's that? Haha, I have two: a black down parka and a red wool dress coat.

26.. Do you sleep with the door to your room open or closed?

Closed, to keep the cats out.

27. Do you love someone right now?

Yes, I do!

28. Have you ever cheated on someone?

No, I couldn't live with myself.

29. Do you have a crush on someone right now?

No.

30.How many pairs of shoes do you own?

Last time I counted, it was about 35-40 pairs. I know, I sound like Imelda, but for me that's a relatively small number. When I was younger, single, thinner, and before kids, I had dozens of pairs of shoes.

Budding Politician

The seders are done. The guests have gone home. The china and crystal are put away, and the dining room table has shrunk back to its daily size. This morning, I asked the boys to pick up their rooms because the housekeeper was supposed to come today. Some 5 hours later, Wild Thing and Moose come downstairs announcing their rooms are clean. These two are bad influences on each other and will play instead of clean.

A few minutes later, I hear WT yelling at Moose, "You owe me that money. Give it to me! I want that $20!" Huh?? Where did the little monster get $20 and what was his deal with WT? Wizard comes running into the room to explain everything, but I tell him to be quiet.

Me: Moose, did you clean your own room?
Moose: Yes.
WT: He did not!
Me: Who cleaned it?
WT: I did but ...
Me: Thank you for helping him.
WT: No, I cleaned his whole room. He offered to pay me $20 if I cleaned his room for him. He had the money in his hand.
Me (incredulous): He offered to pay you $20 to clean his room? Moose, where did you get that kind of money? [I'm thinking he swiped it out of my purse.]
Moose: Remember, Mom, the grocery store lady gave it to me on my birthday? [True.]
Me: So, pay WT.
Moose: I did pay him.
WT: No, he didn't!
Me: Where's the money?
Moose: I don't know. The last I saw it it was on the bathroom counter, near the toilet.
WT: He flushed the money down the toilet and never paid me! It's not fair! I cleaned his whole room and put all his laundry away.
Me (trying not to laugh): Well, now. WT, you can have your choice of extra TV or computer time for helping your brother so much today. Moose, you are not going swimming with your brothers later today.

Vote for Moose! He makes promises he can't keep. He pisses flushes money away. He hardly tells the truth about anything. And, he's cute.

Moose has all the makings of a fine politician.

Festival Meals

Jewish festival meals take a very long time to prepare. To illustrate, I was on my feet, in the kitchen cooking for 16 hours straight this past Sunday evening. It's my own fault, in part, because I should have been cooking and freezing throughout March so there wouldn't be a last-minute crush. However, the bronchitis and coughing took so much out of me, I didn't have the time or desire to cook other than preparing dinners here in The Zone.

What I cooked on Sunday sounds like the list from Eric Carle's The Very Hungry Caterpillar:

• two Spinach and Vegetable Kugels
• two Apple Matzah Kugels
• one Ashkenazi Charoset
• one Sephardi Charoset
  
• one Orange Cake
• one extra batch of chicken stock (nearly 2 gallons)
  
• 18 hard-boiled eggs
• one batch of Fruit Compote in Red Wine
• Tzimmes

Some explanations of what things are and why we eat them at Passover; the Passover Haggadah (story and prayerbook read at the Passover table) commands Jews to eat certain foods at this time of year. A kugel is a souffle- or pudding-like dish. It is often made with noodles or potatoes. At Passover time, kugels made with matzah farfel (bits) or matzah meal and fruits or vegetables are popular side dishes. Charoset is a mixture of fruits, nuts and wine and is required by the Haggadah. Traditional Ashkenazi Charoset calls for sweet apples, chopped walnuts, cinnamon and sweet wine. I hate it. I made my version with Granny Smith apples, walnuts, cinnamon and dry red wine. Sephardi (Mediterranean and Asian) Charoset is a mixture of dried fruits, walnuts, cinnamon, honey and wine. My Sephardi Charoset was a big hit!

Jews do not use any leavening at Passover, so cakes are always made with lots of eggs and sugar plus ground walnuts or almonds and other flavors. Passover desserts are notoriously dry, so fruit compotes are also popular to add flavor and moisture. We eat hard-boiled eggs at Passover to symbolize re-birth and fertility, but we dip them in salt water to remind us of our ancestors' plight in Egypt. As the Haggadah says, "Once we were slaves. Now we are free."

Although not prescribed in the Haggadah, chicken soup is an essential part of the Seder meal for many Jews, especially those of Ashkenazi [Eastern European] heritage. --The New York Times Passover Cookbook (Linda Amster, ed.)

If it's Passover in my house, there is homemade chicken soup. I use big, fat chickens, fresh herbs and spices, fresh vegetables, and I cook it all day. I strain the soup and chill it, then I de-fat it so there are no greasy globules floating on the top. All that is left is goldene yoich, a rich golden broth. No matzah ball mix around here either; I make them all from scratch. I make them light and fluffy – the way I like them – not leaden and heavy like WineGuy likes them. And, finally a comment on tzimmes. As I learned shortly after my marriage, tzimmes means different things to Jews depending on their country of origin.

In my family, tzimmes is a long-stewed mixture of carrots, raisins and brown sugar, a Polish tradition. In WineGuy's family, tzimmes is a mixture of short ribs, sweet potatoes and prunes cooked dead, a Lithuanian tradition. A funny tzimmes story: shortly after we were married the In-Laws came to visit us. MIL was so excited to bring her boy a big pot of homemade tzimmes. She walked in and announced, "I brought tzimmes!" I was so excited; I could already taste those carrots and raisins. When I opened the pot, I croaked, "What the hell is this crap? This isn't tzimmes. Where are the carrots? Where are the raisins?" WineGuy gently rebuked reminded me, "This is the we make tzimmes in my family." I smiled graciously and removed my foot from my mouth and vowed never to cook that gut-busting stuff in my kitchen. As an aside, MIL and FIL arrived here this weekend bearing tzimmes. It went right in the freezer; WineGuy can eat it sometime when I'm not around. He doesn't have the heart to tell his mother he doesn't really like it. Touché!

This is what I served for our first Passover seder of 2007 (reviews):

Hard-Boiled Eggs with Salt Water: the water was too salty
Gefilte Fish with Sliced Carrots, served on a bed of lettuce (prepared according to my family's recipe)
Matzah Ball Soup: homemade stock and matzah balls made with schmaltz, from scratch: needed more seasoning
Braised Brisket, trimmed and de-fatted, with jus: moist and delicious
Spinach Vegetable Kugel: not great and stricken from the recipe file
Roasted Asparagus: great
Orange Cake, dusted with confectioner's suger: a surprise hit
Fruit Compote in Red Wine: another winner

In addition to cooking all that food and setting the table and having to endure Florida BIL and his insipid common-law wife (another story completely) -- "We don't like your Passover wine, We want the [disgustingly sweet Manischewitz] wine we brought." And, "Why didn't you serve the sliced bananas and papaya we brought from our garden?" As well as her matzah farfel stuffing that was wrong in so many ways: greasy, swimming in butter (not appropriate with a meat meal), and cooked dead. I also washed all the dishes: fine china, crystal, silverware, pots, pans, everything. Why? Because it was also the night of the NCAA Men's Basketball Final Game, which WineGuy wanted to watch. After starting around 9:00 a.m. that day, I finally sat down around 10:30 p.m. in time to watch the second half of the game. I took two Advil as a nightcap.

The next morning I crawled out of bed and into the kitchen to make breakfast for everyone. I made 5 matzah brei (rhymes with "dry"). A matzah brei is a "pancake" made with scrambled eggs and softened, crumbled matzah. You eat it savory (salt, pepper, butter) or sweet (cinnamon, sugar, syrup, butter). SIL and BIL arrived over an hour later, and we finally sat down to breakfast. My FIL, the laziest Jewish man you've ever met, wandered in another hour later and headed straight to our pool. He would eat later. Thankyouverymuch for making me serve twice, clean up twice, and cater to your old ass. In the meantime, I was scrambling to baste my turkey and tend to dinner for the second seder.

Here is what I served for the second Passover seder of 2007:

Hard-Boiled Eggs with Salt Water: the water was only a little salty today
Gefilte Fish with Sliced Carrots, served on a bed of lettuce
Matzah Ball Soup
Roast Turkey: moist and delicious, including the white meat
Apple Matzah Kugel: delicious and popular all around
Roasted Balsamic Vegetables: great flavor, except for the endive, now struck from the recipe
Orange Cake
Passover Brownies: dried out nasty things sent by WineGuy's religious brother
Coconut Macaroons, by Manischewitz: boring and leaden, but traditional

I'd had enough cooking and didn't feel like baking for the second night. People hated those store-bought brownies and were looking for more of my Orange Cake. Yay! Afterwards, we all cleared the table, and WineGuy did the dishes. FIL actually offered to help: I gave him a dishtowel and a chair and said, "Howdja like to dry some dishes?" He did a very nice job. MIL helped, too, although she is forbidden to touch the crystal. She drops things. 'Nuff said.

This morning, I took my time getting into the kitchen because I knew I didn't have to cook much today. I made one fresh matzah brei for my in-laws and warmed up yesterday's for the kids. My in-laws left in the late morning, and I've been here with the boys. They helped me put away the good dishes and break down the dining room table. They wiped the kitchen table and vacuumed the floor, so I let them go on the computer. Now, they're watching TV, which allows me to catch up with my blog-faithful.

To my Jewish friends and readers: I wish you a Happy and Kosher Passover.
To my Christian friends and readers: I wish you a blessed Easter.
To all: May Spring come soon to your corner of the world and with it the promise of new beginnings.

Passover's Coming

Passover and a house full of company arrive next week, so today's chores involve cooking. Lots of cooking. I've just printed out a bunch of Passover recipes to peruse, but the most pressing task is the chicken soup. I make my matzah ball soup (and matzah balls) from scratch, and the soup must be made in advance – so that it can be strained, cooled, de-fatted, and frozen to keep until next week. I can't stand fatty chicken soup!

Also on today's cooking list is the brisket . . . not that salty, overcooked shoe leather that passes for brisket in most families. No, this is adapted from David Rosengarten's Wagyu (Kobe) brisket recipe. I know, I know, you're screaming, "Kobe brisket? Are you crazy? It costs a fortune!" Actually not. The cheaper cuts of Kobe beef (brisket, chuck, etc.) are only a dollar or two more per pound than regular beef. When cooked, the cheap cuts of Kobe beef are unbelievably good. Trust me! Look for the recipes on The Need To Feed.

In the meantime, I need to review what I need for the ceremonial meals (Passover seders) and make my grocery list. My favorite aunt gave me her recipe for doctoring gefilte fish, and I need to get that going, too. The housekeeper will come twice this week; once to clean, wash and polish everything in the breakfront, and once to clean the house. I have no idea whether WineGuy's family will be staying here – my parents and brothers won't come. Last I heard, the in-laws had made reservations to stay at some crappy motel 30 minutes away. Don't ask, don't tell, I suppose.

Surprise!

WineGuy had a wonderful 50th birthday! The celebrations started a couple days early, when a drug rep brought him a decadent chocolate mousse cake from Norman Love's shop. The next day, WineGuy's office staff brought in food from his favorite Greek restaurant for lunch. They showered him with lots of funny "over the hill" gifts as well as a custom-engraved bottle of Hess Collection Cabernet Sauvignon, a gift certificate to our favorite sushi restaurant, and a gift certificate to the fancy hotel restaurant where I hosted his party the following evening.

WineGuy's actual birthday dawned sunny and bright. His friends, The Radiologist and The Writer, got bumped from their connecting flight the night before, so they flew in and joined us at a MLB Spring Training game in the early afternoon. I had previously arranged with the stadium's PR office to broadcast a "Happy Birthday" announcement during the game. WG was tickled.

The big surprise came later that evening, when we planned to meet The Radiologist and The Writer at the fancy hotel for dinner. I had arranged for us to meet them in the lobby at the appointed time. WG and I got there a couple minutes early, and he started whining about hating sitting in the lobby when we could be comfortably seated at our table. I kept quiet saying only, "They'll be here any minute." They arrived right on time, and we walked over to the restaurant. The F&B Guy came over and asked for the name and reservation. He first said he didn't recognize the name, then he "found" the reservation. He noted that the dining room was full and led us to a private room. I walked in first, followed by our guests and WineGuy. "SURPRISE!!!" everyone yelled. And, he was. He looked so happy and genuinely touched. He was astonished to see our closest friends there, standing around drinking great wine and nibbling appetizers.

We sat down at the table, and there was champagne all around. I asked The Radiologist to stand up and make a toast. The Radiologist spoke about knowing WG for 30 years and sharing many of life's milestones together. The Writer added that she cherished a friendship that weathered time and tide. We ordered dinner and starting drinking and chatting. The evening flew by in a blur of laughter, good wine, good food and good friends.

Sometime between entreés and dessert, WineGuy stood up and made a speech. He is a terrific extemporaneous speaker. He acknowledged each and every person who was there, saying something nice or funny or poignant about each one. There were kudos to long-time friends and new friends, to drinking buddies, and fellow foodies. He reserved the loveliest words for me, his "wonderful wife," as he put it, "who arranged this great party and kept it a complete surprise. I couldn't ask for more." I was misty-eyed.

'Round midnight, the first of our friends rose from the table to leave. I couldn't believe how late it was, how happy WineGuy was, and how drunk I was. I thanked everyone for accepting the last-minute invitation and making it a memorable evening. A couple people stayed behind and helped us take down the decorations and collect the gifts. Hey people, I said "No Gifts!" We stuffed the huge bunches of balloons into my car and drove the two miles home s-l-o-w-l-y. We got home, unloaded everything, and crawled into bed. I was bone-tired from running around all day. WineGuy had "other things" in mind. Ahem . . . you can't refuse a guy on his birthday, after all.

[cut to Sunday morning] I was wrecked all day. Cole Porter was so wrong when he wrote "I get no kick from champagne. Mere alcohol doesn't thrill me at all." Champagne bubbles are wonderful from the tongue to the toes, but they cause a murderous hangover the next day. I'm just saying.

This is Jeopardy!

I'm auditioning for Jeopardy! It's my all-time favorite game show, and I am finally getting a chance to try out. I am going to audition in Orlando, Florida in the middle of May. I am so excited, I'm sputtering.

How did this come about? Several weeks ago, the show announced they would offer tests online to try out. I missed the East Coast date and took the test online on the West Coast date. I had no idea how I did. Doc Thelma, an August96 Mom with a subscribers-only blog, told me she auditioned this year also. Several days ago, Doc Thelma posted that she was invited to the Washington, DC audition later this spring. I was happy for her but disappointed that I wasn't chosen. WineGuy was pestering me about something last night and prompted me to check my email.

Lo and behold! There was the message from the Jeopardy Contestant Department, congratulating me and inviting me to an audition appointment two months' hence. They are very strict about this procedure. I had to respond to their email within a specified time and in a specified format. If I failed to do so, I would probably lose the opportunity. They set the audition time and place, and it appears largely non-negotiable. Of course, Miami would have been two hours closer and a lot more convenient, but I can handle a quick trip to Orlando.

I've already informed WineGuy that he's taking the day off of work so I can go. I'll drive up to Orlando the night before and check into a hotel. My audition is not until 3:00 p.m., so I'll have some time to rest up and study (?) and practice. I'll drive home afterwards.

OMG, I have to study. And practice with a clicker. I am fully aware that there is a timing issue between the reading of the clue and the click to answer. Help, help, help! Does anyone have any tips on preparing for a Jeopardy audition? I need to do some research on the Internet and maybe Amazon.

Wish me (and Doc Thelma) good luck!

Design, Edit, Print, Print, Print

Yesterday, I actually did as I planned. I wrote all of Moose's thank-you notes for all his birthday presents, including the ones he received a month ago. I need to go buy some more stamps (before the price increases, grrr).

This morning I sat at the computer and designed placecards for WineGuy's party. I use Print Shop 2 for almost all my projects. I had problems centering the designs properly in the printable area. Then I kept turning the paper the wrong way and printing over sections that were already done. Very frustrating! I want to know why printing programs don't print things the way you see them on the screen. Particularly with Print Shop, I need to remember that the print image on the screen will come out upside down from the printer. For cards and things it's not a problem, but for printing business card templates – and selected cards at that– it's a hassle.

When I finished with the placecards, I made gift tags for the party favors to be set at each place. I'm giving out small boxes of Norman Love chocolates. Without a doubt, these are the best chocolates anywhere. Period. Don't argue with me. Norman Love used to be a pastry chef with the Ritz Carlton for years. A few years ago, he opened his own chocolate factory in an industrial park near the Fort Myers, Florida airport. He has since expanded into his own building, complete with a Chocolate Salon next door. These are the finest quality chocolates with the finest quality fillings you've ever had. I mean, when was the last time you had chocolate filled with passionfruit?? Simply exquisite. I'll head out to Norman Love's tomorrow after I go to the wine store to choose a special bottle for WineGuy.

Busy, busy, busy. Too bad my desk is still a disaster.

Potential Felonies Averted

Last night WineGuy got on the phone with his med school buddy (The Radiologist) to plan the dinners and outings while he and his wife are here. WineGuy insisted we could not go to the fancy hotel for dinner because we took The Radiologist and The Writer, his wife, there on their first night here last year. WineGuy sat here, breathing down my neck, until I called a different restaurant and made reservations for Saturday night, March 24th. Aieeeeeeeeee! I wanted to strangle WineGuy for mucking up my plans.

I thought The Radiologist raised the issue of the restaurant, so I very politely sent a "pointed" email to The Writer saying how much we are looking forward to their visit but that I was going to shoot The Radiologist for messing with my plans. She wrote back, very apologetic, and offered me a way out. The Radiologist called me this morning with the perfect ruse for WineGuy: tell him The Writer absolutely loved the fancy hotel and was anxious to go back there for dinner. WineGuy bought it hook, line, and sinker. So, I don't have to worry about any potential victims of premeditated murder. Of course, I might have been able to argue manslaughter, but that's beside the point.

I had a meeting with the assistant food and bev. director at the hotel today. He and I discussed the menu, and he was willing to make slight alterations to fit my needs. I have a meeting tomorrow afternoon with the sommelier to choose the wines. Their prices are high, but I'm going to ask them to knock off some money for quantity. I can already see I'll be spending a fortune on wine that night because all our guests are either avid wine drinkers or wine connoisseurs.

The hotel will design and print menus for me. I need to make a seating chart and place cards. F&B Guy will put up the few decorations I have and set out the balloon bouquets. I'm toying with making an iDVD or iMovie presentation on my Mac, but I don't have a scanner. It may be too much for me to do this week. I'll have to see. I think I'm going to make up a WineGuy birth year and life trivia quiz for our guests; I'll give away a bottle of our own wine for the high score.

Any other party suggestions? I'm open to them.

Moose's 5th Birthday Party

We had Moose's 5th birthday party on Saturday afternoon, March 17th. It was an incredibly busy day: WineGuy chanted his Haftorah portion during Sabbath services in the morning. Wizard and I left shortly thereafter to go to Wizard's lacrosse practice. Afterwards, Wizard and I picked up platters of chicken tenders and fruit at the grocery store and a bouquet of balloons at the party store. We drove home to change clothes and get everything ready for the party. Wild Thing and Wizard helped load the car and the cooler. Moose ran around wild and crazy. We finally piled into two cars and drove down to the local miniature golf course.

It was a breezy, sunny afternoon, just perfect for an outdoors party. Hardly any of our guests showed up on time, so I grouped the kids into foursomes as they arrived. Each child had at least one parent stay, so there were plenty of chaperones. The kids were so cute playing mini golf! Some got the hang of putting the ball. Others, especially the little girls, grew frustrated with the activity and chose to just kick or roll their golf balls on the course. It was too funny! I ran around trying to take some pictures.

After about 45 minutes of play, we gathered on the deck, where I set out the platters of chicken and fruit. The kids and parents had a late snack. By then, the wind had picked up, and the kids were getting cold. We went into the screened patio for birthday cake. The mini golf place took care of everything. They ordered Moose a pirate cake; they provided balloons and paper goods; they gave us free passes to hand out as party favors. One of the employees (an older gent) is a patient of WineGuy's. He and the young guys working that afternoon took great care of us and were just terrific. [I tipped them well.]

After cake, I handed out the custom-designed t-shirts and mini-golf passes. At first, my friends weren't quite sure what I handed them, all rolled up and tied in bows. One woman unrolled the shirt, and everyone just flipped over the t-shirts. "Where did you get them?" they all asked. "Wizard and I designed and made them ourselves!" Everyone was amazed. I had Tootsie Pop bouquets for the older siblings who joined us that afternoon. I figured they wouldn't want a t-shirt with a 5 year-old's picture on it. Those were a hit, too.

I had planned the party for two hours in the late afternoon, but we finished early. The party actually lasted about 1 hour and 30-45 minutes. We were packed up and on our way home at the two-hour mark. We opened Moose's gifts at home later that evening. He received a few board games – Operation, Clue Jr., Scrabble Jr., Great States Jr. – that look good. There were several Transformers. I don't understand their appeal, but Moose likes them. One friend gave Moose a 400-piece K'Nex set. It's going back immediately. Another friend gave Moose a frog Webkin, which he should like.

I need to whip out those thank-you notes before I get bogged down with WineGuy's party later this week. Our out-of-town friends are about to screw it all up – and WineGuy told me to change the reservation for dinner – but I'm not changing a darn thing. I'll make up some fib to get us where we need to be at the last minute. More details about potential felonies in another post to follow.

I Can Be Productive

I am a great procrastinator, but sometimes I can be really productive. Like today, for instance. I woke up early and baked another kugel for the synagogue's luncheon tomorrow. While that was in the oven, I printed up t-shirt transfers to make party favors for Moose's 5th birthday party tomorrow. Wizard monitored the printing and laid all the transfers out to dry while I ironed 14 white t-shirts. Let me tell, I don't ordinarily iron t-shirts, but the instructions said I had to. So I did.

After I took the kugel out of the oven, I began ironing the transfers on the shirts. This was a slow methodical process that was kind of hard on my messed-up hands. Center and align the sheet, then iron on high heat. Press, press, press carefully in one direction. Press, press, press, carefully in another direction. My brainstorm was putting the t-shirt on the cold tile floor to cool off. Once the transfers were cool, Wizard peeled off the backing and checked each shirt. Wizard wanted to try ironing, so I let him. He did a great job, finishing 7 shirts in the time I ran to Wal-Mart for more ribbon. We all took a break for lunch and then finished the shirts. Wizard rolled them up carefully, according to my instructions and I tied them with brightly colored grosgrain ribbon and tagged them.

Once that project was done, I turned my attention to Wild Thing's community project that is due on Monday, March 19th. He is supposed to use things around the house to create a building in our community. Not surprisingly, the teacher gave WT a hospital to build. I downloaded some pictures and logos of our local hospital and made little signs for the main entrance and emergency room. I taped two small boxes together to make a big building and cut out parts of the boxes to make WT's hospital look just like our community hospital. Then, I turned the project over to Wizard to practically do by himself oversee WT's work.

While the boys were building the hospital, I looked over the contracts and arrangements for the surprise 50th birthday dinner I'm throwing for WineGuy next weekend. I sat down with the menus and wine lists and threw caution to the wind. I'm going to spend a bundle on a man who never spends a dime on himself. He deserves it! I did something similarly extravagant for our 10th anniversary a few years ago: I personally chose a custom case of wine for him to enjoy. The wine store printed tasting notes on everything, and I wrote a poem to go with it. I delivered everything to the big, fancy hotel, and the presented it to him while we had dinner.

This time around I'm throwing a wine dinner for WineGuy. There will be us and five other couples. Most friends are local, but WineGuy's best friend from medical school and his wife are coming to town for a conference that weekend. I've told everyone it's a surprise and not to bring any gifts. I told WineGuy that we're going to dinner at the fancy hotel restaurant with the two visiting friends. He has no idea what's coming. I bought some cute decorations at the party store. I hope the hotel will put them up that afternoon. I've ordered two balloon bouquets with 50th birthday and Happy Birthday balloons . . . no "Over The Hill" or old fart stuff because that would offend WineGuy. I have a meeting on Monday morning with the hotel's assistant food and beverage director to finalize menu and wine selections. The last thing I need to do this week is to buy WineGuy one smashingly special bottle of wine as a present.

I'm confident the boys and I can keep this a secret for the next week. They're excited, too. I've got my party notebook all organized with dividers. Wish me luck!

Frankenmommy

I am a mess. I've had nasty-looking rash on my hands for several days now. Yesterday and last night the itching was so bad, it nearly drove me crazy. I went to the dermatologist today. She said I have a classic case of dyshidrotic eczema. I have hard bumps under the skin of some fingers (tops, bottoms, and sides) and on the back of one hand. This condition can be chronic, acute or recurring. I've had episodes before, but not this bad. This is the first official diagnosis; I thought it was warts. Ew. Recurrences are caused by emotional stress, heat and humidity, and environmental factors. Let's see: stress? Check. Heat? Check. Humidity? Check. Environmental factors? They could be my soap or lotion or the dish soap or anything. The dermatologist prescribed a super-steroid, Vanos, and recommended I use special hand soap and cream by CeraVe. I'm supposed to switch dish liquid to Dove, instead of using whatever's on sale at the grocery store.

What else? I'm still coughing and dealing with bronchitis. It's been 6 weeks. I had to cancel singing in the seven chorale concerts next week. My doctor warned me I'd have another relapse if I didn't take it easy. I'm sleeping a bit better, but I still have black bags under my eyes. I've had a recurrent yeast infection that just won't clear up. Ew x2. And, I just got my period. Homerun.

Just shoot me.

Head, Meet Wall

It's just another manic Monday.
Wish it was Sunday,
'cause that's my fun day
My 'I don't want to run day'.
It's just another manic Monday.

The Bangles (1985)

Today started out like most other Mondays. The kids didn't want to get out of bed in the dark. Wild Thing was up and dressed and eating breakfast in no time, for a change. Wizard got up very slowly, and Moose needed to be pried out of bed with a crowbar. I got everyone's lunches made and off to school. I killed a little time before meeting my friend, Bird, for coffee this morning. We were having a nice little chat when my phone rang. School was calling.

Wizard's Social Studies teacher was calling me (for the third or fourth week in a row) with the report of what Wizard failed to turn in on his project. Wizard claimed he wrote a 10-page rough draft over February break and turned it in right away. Nope. Loooooong story short; it's a repeat of the science project fiasco from last term. Mr. SS assigned a months-long research project in December. The kids were supposed to turn in a rough draft on March 5, 2007. Wizard lied to us about doing the project. He lied to his teacher about the work and turned in 2 pages of handwritten crap. Mr. SS called to raise my blood pressure "keep me informed" about what Wizard was (not) doing in class. I quickly ended my pleasant morning and drove back to school, with that "mad Mommy" line deeply furrowed between my eyebrows.

I arrived at school and marched upstairs to Wizard's Language Arts class. I told the teacher I needed to speak with Wizard. Mrs. LA said the students were doing a timed essay, and she would send Wizard down as soon as he was done. We all go into Mr. SS's classroom and discuss the project. I repeatedly asked Mr. SS for a written assignment of this project, complete with deadlines and objectives. I never got anything from him. He says he wrote everything down on the board for the students to copy. Wizard never showed us his planner and ultimately lost it. Mr. SS and Wizard and I sat discussing this assignment – and the other missing work – for nearly an hour. Wizard claims he didn't understand the assignment. Mr. SS didn't believe that. Wizard lied to me and WineGuy about the work he'd done, and he lied to Mr. SS about the project. We went around and around all hour. In the end, once I understood the assignment, I explained it clearly to Wizard, who claims to understand it now. Then I find out that Wizard is two months late in presenting a "minute-in-history" assignment and a couple days late with a text outline. Wizard's Social Studies notebook has torn pages, doodles all over, crappy handwriting, and a half-assed outline of the textbook. Early notebook entries, from the beginning of the school year, are pretty neat and done as assigned. It looks like everything fell apart in December 2006, at the semester break.

Once I got the whole picture from Mr. SS, he recommended I go see the math teacher, who is also Wizard's homeroom teacher and the head of the Intermediate School (Grades 4-5). Mr. Math and I go to his office. He pulls out his grade book and tells me Wizard is 2 or 3 assignments behind in math, that Wizard lost his math workbook, and that his grade is slipping. I am so NOT happy at this point. Mr. Math gives me a new binder and planner for Wizard, and we agree that Wizard must have his planner signed by a parent daily. I haven't had to do that since the beginning of this school year. I leave Mr. Math's office and run into Mrs. LA as she's eating lunch. I apologize for interrupting, and we chat for a few minutes. Wizard is doing very well in Language Arts class, but she must constantly crack the whip for him to do his writing work. Wizard owes Mrs. LA one or two small assignments.

Ding! I'm getting the picture here: Wizard hates to write. He loves to read, but he hates to write. He is absolutely my child. I hated writing in school, too. It always seemed like busywork, particularly when the subject did not motivate me.

Now what? Ground the kid until the end of the school year? It's a distinct possibility. To begin with, he loses his computer/TV time until he's caught up. I haven't decided whether I'll pull him out of the lacrosse league he just joined -- his first sport ever. Mr. SS proposed giving Wizard another 2 weeks to get his rough draft done. I said, "absolutely not! He'll get it done in the next few days because it's gone on long enough."

We went through lots of drama like this with Wizard last year. I thought he had learned his lesson because he started off this school year so strongly. He seems to be getting along with the kids at school. He's not causing any trouble at school. Things at home have been fine, although there was that scare with WineGuy back in November 2006. WineGuy is fine now. I've been sick with bronchitis for 5-6 weeks, but that has had little effect on the kids. Mrs. LA gave me one small insight that Wizard feels like he has too many responsibilities at home and gets blamed for too much. Oh please. He has chores, like his brothers, do. He often has to help Moose in the morning because Moose won't get his lazy bones out of bed. I am not at my wit's end, but I am fresh out of ideas how to handle this.

Incontrovertible Truths

Ten inescapable facts of life:

1. On the day you have artfully scheduled your bimonthly haircut, color, waxing and other bodily maintenance, your child will have to stay home sick from school.
2. On the days you planned to hear interesting lectures about art or home decorating, your child will either be home sick from school or will have the day off of school.
3. The week or so before you have 7 concerts in which to sing, you will still be suffering from an interminable case of bronchitis or asthma or be coughing like you have a 2-pack a day cigarette habit (even though you never smoked a day in your life). You will run into an acquaintance who said he had the same thing . . . for three months.
   
4. The day you have tickets for the entire family to see an MLB Spring Training Game will be the same day your husband, the doctor, is on-call with 26 patients in the hospital. It will also be the same day and time your child has his second practice in a brand new sport which " I can't miss". It will also be the same day and time another child is invited to attend the birthday party of the child of one of the wealthiest families in town, whose home is directly on the beach.
5. The day your spouse decides to reprise chanting his Bar Mitzvah readings will be same day more than half of the synagogue's congregation will be attending a Bat Mitzvah elsewhere in town.
6. Despite your trying to plan for your spouse's 50th birthday months in advance, your spouse insists he does not want a party. And then, magically, less than two weeks before the big day AND in the height of tourist season, he thinks maybe he'd like to have a party . . . but not at home, or maybe at home . . . but not dinner, just wine and cheese. You call the local fancy hotel and say, "make a party for me!!" and then call a bunch of friends to come celebrate.
7. When your child swears to you he has turned in all his assignments for class, including drafts of the big project, you will get a(nother) friendly phone call at home from his teacher saying he has not turned in a thing.
8. Your children will clean their rooms after the housekeeper has been here but not before.
9. Your youngest child, who is a great helper in class and always picks up after himself, is rendered limp and paralyzed when asked to clean his room at home. And finally:
   
10. The moment you start to cook dinner, your mother will call just to chat.

What are the inconvenient truths in your life?

Too Much

Random thoughts here since it's been several days since I last posted.

The Great Hamentaschen Project rapidly expanded on Saturday morning. The boys and I made over 7 dozen cookies: poppyseed, prune, apricot, cherry, Nutella and lingonberry. They are almost all gone 3 days later! WineGuy's fave is the poppy, so he's eaten a bunch of those; he also took some into the office. The prune and apricot came out delicious. The cherry was forgettable: Solo's cherry filling is goopy. Next year, I'll try some cherry filling with more fruit in it. The Nutella baked up into a chocolate, hazelnut wonder. They were unbelievably good. The surprise this year were the lingonberry hamentaschen. Now, I know those of you of Swedish heritage are probably scratching your heads in confusion, but these berries (in a jar) were the perfect sweet amd tart combination to make the hamentaschen sing. Oh, and apparently the kugel was the hit of the synagogue's kiddush Saturday morning.

It was a weekend packed with diverse culture. I took the boys to see "The Lion King" musical at a local auditorium. The costumes and sets were amazing. The songs were forgettable, except for the few favorites from the movie – Circle of Life, I Just Can't Wait To Be King, Hakuna Matata, Can You Feel The Love Tonight. The actors and dancers were completely engaged with the audience . . . we had aisle seats in center orchestra and were captivated by the puppets and the actors' faces. The acoustics in this auditorium suck. Truly suck. The epitome of all suckiness: if anyone at Barbara B. Mann Hall in Fort Myers ever reads this blog, here is my advice. Hire professional sound engineers to completely gut and re-do that auditorium or blow the damn thing up. The seats and décor are dated, and the acoustical engineering must have been done by a trade-school dropout. But otherwise, the performance was magical, and the boys loved it. They sat and behaved like perfect gentlemen.

Our other weekend outing was a Spring Training baseball game: Boston Red Sox v. Minnesota Twins. Red Sox tix are impossible to get at their small, broken-down home stadium, so we usually opt for whatever we can see at the Twins stadium, which is new and beautiful. I was really hoping to see Daisuke Matsuzaka pitch that day, but he was off. The skies were overcast, the day was breezy. It was America's pastime at its finest.

More later ... off to chorale.

Baking

Did you see that mushroom cloud exploding over Southwest Florida this morning? It wasn't a nuclear accident. I was baking. I made (read "always make") a huge mess when I bake. Baking is not intuitive for me because it's straight-forward food chemistry. You must mix things in a certain order and make them a certain way; otherwise it's crap. I learned my lesson a long time ago NOT to improvise when baking as I do when cooking. Cooking is more forgiving. Baking is a dominatrix.

When the dust cloud of flour settled, I ended up with one sweet noodle kugel and six batches of hamentaschen dough. The kugel goes to our synagogue for its kiddush tomorrow, but the hamentaschen stay here. When WineGuy reminded the Wild Boys that Purim is this weekend, Wild Thing shouted, "HAMENTASCHEN!! Mom and I are making hamentaschen this weekend!" Wizard and Moose echoed, "Me, too! Me, too!" How could I refuse? Since they don't have the patience to wait for the dough to chill, I made it all this morning. That way, we can set up our assemblyline tomorrow morning: fill and pinch, fill and pinch. I figure we'll make about 5 dozen hamentaschen cookies by the time we're all done.

In addition to the traditional poppyseed, apricot and prune flavors, I'm going to try making almond, Nutella, cherry and lingonberry cookies this year. WineGuy's favorite is poppyseed. The boys and I like the fruit flavors. I spied the Nutella in the grocery store and figured I'd try it. We love hazelnut and chocolate; the critical factor is whether the Nutella blend will hold up in the oven or ooze out all over the place. Oh well, if I have to fail, it might as well be covered in a hazelnutty, chocolate mess!